ephemeral, eternal
by Bakugods
Summary: a collection of ダイヤのA oneshots! may contain angst, OOC, suggestive themes, violence, drugs/alcohol, etc


**ephemeral, eternal**  
– collection of ダイヤのA oneshots! may contain angst, OOC, suggestive themes, violence, drugs/alcohol, etc

Diamond no Ace is rightfully owned by Yuji Terajima and Kodansha.

* * *

 **high as a kite  
** **summary** : Eijun goes to the dentist and gets his wisdom tooth removed.  
 **rating** : k+  
 **pairing/s** : eijun/wakana, furuya/haruno, tetsu/takako

* * *

It was a sunny morning of July, surely a pleasant day for a walk or for an outing with family and friends. However, things in the Sawamura residence aren't exactly going so well in such a lovely weather. Especially with Sawamura Eijun, who is currently being dragged down the stairs by his wife, Wakana.

"You need to go, Eijun!" The woman huffs, forcefully pulling her husband's shirt. "The clinic's only open _today_ after an entire three weeks!"

Eijun shouts and grabs on the railing of the staircase, crying for his life. " _No_! I'm not going to the dentist! You know how I feel around dentists! I just _can'_ _t_." He looks at her pleadingly, but she only glares at him harder. Eijun cries to himself inwardly.

She isn't going to give him a break, isn't she? "I don't care! You _need_ to go!" And she pulls harder, making him tighten his grip on the railing—his knuckles turn white and his palms suddenly became sweaty.

Yep, she isn't going to give him a break. Not at all.

"Let go of the railing, Eijun!" Wakana groans out angrily, now pressing her bare foot on Eijun's stomach as she continues to pull on his shirt. Eijun contracts his abdominal muscles but Wakana's strong with pushing her foot on his stomach, making him wail in pain and release the railing.

With that accomplishment, Wakana manages to drag him down the stairs, making his head bump the carpeted steps carelessly. "Ow! Ow! _Ow_! _Ow_!" Eijun shouts in pain from every hit his head gets and he feels his body drop at the bottom of the stairs; with his angry wife standing over him with her hands on her hips. "Come on, Wakana... have mercy on me... _please_?" He huffs and pouts at her pleadingly, thinking that if he gives her the puppy-eyes, she'd give in.

But she's still looking at him heatedly, her frown deepening.

That was probably a bad idea. "I won't be babying you this time, Eijun," she says coldly, "And we'll have _natto_ for every meal this entire week if you're not going, whether you like it or not." She harrumphs and crosses her arms under her buxom.

Eijun gasps and jumps to his feet, placing his hands on her bare shoulder and shaking her in panic. No. Not natto. Anything but natto. "Kami, _please_ not natto!" He begs, fake tears immediately spilling from his eyes.

Wakana rolls her eyes and removes his hands from her shoulders, "It won't be natto _unless_ you agree to go to the dentist." She says sternly.

The brunette 24-year old stares at her for a few moments and contemplates on his decision, a helpless look on his face. Oh, _kami_. She's serious about it.

He guesses he could survive a simple appointment with the dentist compared to having natto for every meal within seven days... _and_ Wakana might probably reward him with better food when the dental operation is finished. And she won't bother him about getting his wisdom tooth removed anymore! And also might get laid tonight? Yeah, so it's basically a win-win, all in his favor.

Eijun then grins widely at his wife, "Okay." He says in finality.

The short-haired woman blinks in confusion and shock, "W—what?" Her eyebrows furrow on her forehead.

"I said, _okay_." He gives her a thumbs up, "I'm going." And with that, an awestruck expression plasters itself on Wakana's face and breaks into a satisfied, relieved smile. She shakes her head and gives him a pat on his shoulder.

"Good. Come on, then." And she grabs the car keys and heads out, with her husband following behind her.

Hopefully, he won't regret this.

For the sake of no-natto-meals.

 **#**

"W—W—Where are... where are... we..?" Eijun drawls, his eyes looking at every corner of the interior of the car. Wakana glances at Eijun from the road and she giggles.

"In the car, Eijun." She answers him, but he still continues to look dazed and his mouth hangs open.

"Car... red lights..." he mutters under his breath, his eyes closing to a half but proceeds to look around him. "Huh... baseball... bat..." He snickers lazily when his half-lidded eyes meet the baseball bat keychain hanging on the rear-view mirror.

Wakana observes him with an amused smile on her face and continues to drive, turning to a neighborhood street. "Do you know what day it is?" She asks with a curious tone. Of course she has to ask. She's having too much fun seeing him make a fool out of himself under the influence of a drug.

"Day... uhh, it's Christmas, right? 'cause it's really, really..." He pauses and lets out a long, exhausted exhale, " _really_... hmm... bright." And he rubs his eyes tiredly like a child.

"Mmhmm." Wakana replies and parks by the sidewalk, along with other vehicles parked in front of a house. "It's the 1st of July!" She announces, turning off the engine and unbuckling hers and Eijun's seatbelt.

"July..." Eijun murmurs, his eyes sleepy and dropping to a close. Until they snap wide open, his pupils shrunk and his eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets. "It's—It's—It's Grocery 20% Sale Month!" He shouts, sitting up on his seat in complete panic.

Wakana throws her head back and laughs at his sudden outburst. Okay, she doesn't mind dealing with this kind of Eijun. Tame, innocent, clueless Eijun; compared to the loud, obnoxious Eijun she has to tolerate and control with every single day of her life. She doesn't mind at all.

"Uh-huh. What else, sweetheart?" She says this time, muttering a _let's get down_ to Eijun as both of them got off the car—with Eijun almost dropping to his weak knees once his sneaker-clad feet hit the concrete.

"It's—uh... a Friday?" Eijun guesses, walking very slowly to where Wakana was standing. Wakana giggles and grabs his arm to guide him before walking towards the house they parked in front of.

"Nice try, but give me another guess." She pushes, climbing up the short steps of the front porch of the house. Eijun furrows his eyebrows in confusion and his lips form a childish pout.

"... _Saturday_?" He scratches his cheek, looking around, once again, aimlessly.

"Close enough." Wakana reaches up and was about to ring the doorbell when the front door unexpectedly swings open in front of them.

" _Ah_! It's the Sawamuras!" The person who had opened the door—who happened to be Kuramochi—exclaimed in recognition, a sash wrapped across his torso with paint balls in different colors hanging on them and a protective armor stained with paint was protecting his front back. His left hand holds a toy rifle and he was wearing turtle helmet.

Wakana stared at him weirdly, "Yoichi-kun?" She says, but said man only huffs through his nose and faces the male Sawamura.

"Oi, Bakamura! Are you giving Wakana-chan a hard time again?!" He scolds, grabbing his friend by the ear. But Eijun only falls forward on to Kuramochi and started to murmur things again.

"W—Whoa!" Kuramochi yells, grabbing hold of Eijun's shoulders. "Dude, what the hell?" He glares at him and his eyebrow quirked. Wakana shakes her head in apology, grabbing Eijun and making him stand up straight once more.

"Aaa, sorry, Yoichi-kun. He just got back from the dentist and the only time the clinic's open happened to be today so—"

"He got his wisdom tooth removed!" A familiar voice says from behind Kuramochi.

Wakana looks behind Kuramochi and sees the green-haired man's fiancé walking towards them, wearing the same outfit and weapon as Kuramochi, except his armor barely has any paint on it. "Yeah." Wakana answers, shaking Eijun's arm.

"Miyuu~ki?" Eijun says slowly once he sees the former catcher, his tongue rolling clumsily as if testing the name in his mouth for the first time.

Miyuki laughs and stands beside Kuramochi, "He's as high as a kite!" He flicks Eijun's forehead, with the latter not reacting and still looking dazed. Miyuki laughs in amusement and calls from the inside of the house, "Hey! Get the camera!" And proceeds to making fun of Eijun's stupefied self.

Kuramochi sneers and walks back inside the house, announcing to everyone that the Sawamura couple has arrived. Yells and cheers were heard from the inside and Wakana left the two men on the porch as she herself enters the household.

She was greeted by the former Seido manager. "Ah! Wakana-chan! Hi!" The red-haired woman reaches out and hugs the taller girl. When she pulls away, she beams at her, "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to make it, you know?"

Wakana sighs and points at the door, " _Well_ ," She sighs in exasperation, "Here we are!"

Haruno giggles and leads her friend away from the noise of the men in the living room and went to the wide backyard—which has been infiltrated by paint and toy guns—of the house. "Mnn, Furuya-kun was expecting Eijun-kun earlier and he's been sulking for awhile now..." She points at her husband who is angrily slapping burger meat on the grill with a spatula, having no clue about the Sawamura couple arriving already.

Furuya has a pink Kiss The Cook apron on with paint blotches on it and on his face and shirt. His eyes were angrily burning with fury and his knuckles were turning white from gripping the spatula too hard.

The brown-haired woman blinks at the former ace of Seido and laughs halfheartedly, "How typical." Haruno simply nods and approaches the dark-haired man, giving a calming hand on his shoulder.

Wakana watches the two of them as she hears shouts from the inside of the house: "This is going to go viral!" Jun.

"Oogah!" Masuko.

"Ya—ha! Look at his face!" Yoichi.

" _Ehh_? He looks dumber than usual!" Mei.

"Fufufu! Sawamura's gonna get internet famous." Miyuki.

"Sawamura, let's play shogi." Tetsu.

"Is Eijun-san okay?" Haruichi.

"Don't worry about him. He's being his usual self." Ryousuke.

"Raichi, he's just like you!" Sanada.

"Oh, shut up, idiot!" Raichi.

Wakana shakes her head and enters the house, seeing Jun and Yoichi holding a recorder on their hands. The rest of the men were either laughing out loud or cleaning their mess up. She sees her idiotic husband sitting on a couch looking dazed as ever, drool now dripping down his chin. His eyes are half-closed and is currently being slapped the daylights out of him by Miyuki.

She laughs again at the hilarious scene, her hand covering her mouth to stifle her laughter.

Well, at the least that's no natto for an entire week.

Wakana smiles smugly.

Threats are truly _golden_.

 **#**

 **NEXT DAY**

" _Ha_?" Eijun exclaims before wincing at the pain from his teeth, his hand gripping his cheek tenderly. Wakana looks up at him from the fresh laundry she was hanging up on their closet.

"What is it?" She sticks her head out from their walk-in closet.

"Jun-san tagged me in a video..." Eijun quietly mutters as his hands worked on selecting the video link. Wakana bites her lip in amusement and heads back inside the closet, trying her best to keep herself from laughing.

She hums in response and ignores him entirely, making him think that she wasn't listening anymore. She hears the video start and Jun's voice resounded from his phone, _"Yo, Eijun!"_

"What the hell?" Eijun buries his face on his phone as he intently watches the clip.

 _"Yaha! How does it feel being high?"_ Eijun's eye twitches at Kuramochi's remark, his face filled with utter confusion. Then there was laughter at the background.

"H—high?" Eijun questions more to himself, until his own face shows up in the video. His face freezes in shock and his eyes widen in exaggeration as he gasps. Wakana purses her lips and gripped the shirt in her hand tightly, restraining herself to laugh as she gives glances at Eijun's expressions.

After a few minutes of the video playing, Eijun remains silent. But by every passing second, his face flushes redder and redder than before. All in embarrassment.

When the video was done with Tetsu taking a photo of Eijun's face, Eijun threw his phone across the room and he shoves his face against the many pillows of their shared bed. He started shouting profanities in a muffled voice and punching the sheets repeatedly without any mercy.

Wakana finishes up in the walk-in closet and watches Eijun beginning to shout, _"I'm never going to the damn dentist ever again!"_ while watching his phone light up every second because of the hundreds of notifications about his going-viral video.

She shrugs and exits the room, thinking, _"Maybe some takoyaki for dinner?"_ and nodding at her choice of food.

 **owari**

* * *

 **note** : hi! i'm back to school already and as always, i'll be extremely busy and updates are almost impossible for me. but this collection will be simply a practice document for me. so if you have any requests or any ideas for me to write, just tell me! but i only do the pairings or characters i want to do. so i'll be making a list:

• eijun x wakana  
• furuya x haruno  
• furuya x miyuki  
• miyuki x kuramochi  
• kuramochi x wakana  
• tetsuya x takako (fujiwara)  
• tetsuya x jun  
• sanada x raichi  
• eijun x mei  
• miyuki x mei  
• furuya x haruichi

and that's pretty much it. i might add some more options on later chapters but it's just a probability. and yes, i also allow genderbent pairings. anyway, the next chapter would be furuya/haruno. hope you enjoyed this one! tell me what you think through review or pm. lmao sorry if it sucked.

okay, sml. goodbye


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